You are in the middle of a conflict that can escalate into violence. Your adrenaline is pumping, you're scared, upset and angry, and you want the aggressor to just leave.

Aggressive behavior can only provoke further development of the conflict. In this article, we will look at what needs to be done to prevent this.


In such circumstances, people often begin to threaten the attacker. They are trying to show the enemy their strength and the seriousness of their intention to defend themselves, trying to prove that it is dangerous to mess with them. However, it is precisely this behavior that can lead to an escalation of the conflict, serious injuries and consequences for both sides.

Don't throw insults

You may think that threats will make an aggressive person retreat, but in fact they will be perceived as a challenge and an insult. An insult to which a violent person will have to react, because now aggression is being applied to him, his personal space is being invaded, and he feels that he must take retaliatory measures.

The problem is that most people trying to establish control over the situation and trying to prove how bad an idea it is to attack them, leave the attacker no choice BUT to attack to save face.

Don't challenge the opponent

Perhaps the most unreasonable thing to do in a critical situation is to look at a person who threatens you with a weapon and say: "You won't do that". Perhaps this point seems obvious at the moment when you think about a theoretical situation, but in an irritated, frightened or stressed, desperately trying to find an answer to threats in order to drive away an opponent or prove to this person that you are as serious as he is, it is very easy to unwittingly throw such a challenge.

Being at the mercy of emotions, adrenaline and fear, we are not only stupid, but also prone to errors of judgment. We believe, "If I do this, he will do that." Unfortunately, the opponent has a choice of several options, and he will not always choose what we expect. Including attacking you because you forced him to act.

How to avoid provoking agression in a conflict

Do not threaten the opponent

Threats will have an even worse and undesirable effect on the enemy than just a challenge. Voicing the intention to call the police is also a threat in certain situations. If you intend to do this, it will be more effective to dial a number and report the situation than just to say that you will.

Do not deny what is happening

Violence is a rarity for most of us. Many people can live their entire lives without ever getting into a physical fight. Even criminals are not constantly surrounded by it.

However, there is a big difference between these two lifestyles. People who lead a lifestyle in which violence is commonplace immediately recognize when it occurs and react accordingly.

While ordinary people, when faced with violence, tend to deny it. This happens in three main ways:
1) Shock and confusion. It seems that violence can only happen to other people.
2) Confidence that their opponent will not take action.
3) Attempts to avoid violence, even if it is already inevitable.

Give the opponent the opportunity to get out of the situation, saving face

It is very important to give the opponent the opportunity to stop, preserving pride and a sense of victory. In situations like this, "saving face" shouldn't be a priority for you.

Aggressive people's thinking is built in such a way that in order to preserve their dignity, they will have no choice but to attack you.


These rules of conduct are designed to stop the conflict, allowing the aggressor to find a reason not to fight. This is an important component of de-escalation.

2022-04-14 16:10:24


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